What Does it Feel Like?

by Sophie Kinsella

This short novel is indeed fiction, but as the author says, “it is my most autobiographical work to date.” This talented author of many very successful books describes her struggle with brain cancer. She talks about her frustrations at not being able to recall words. As a writer, words have always been her bread and butter!  Post surgery, memories come and go as her brain tries to heal and her body needs to learn how to perform basic tasks like walking. Through the character Eve, Kinsella gives the reader glimpses into the continuing struggle to maintain hope and the difficulties of sharing her prognosis with her five children. 

Particularly touching is her conversation with her husband about a bucket list. He is willing to take her to the ends of the earth to do something she has always wanted to do. After considering many possibilities, she decides what she really wants is not something exciting: “I just need to be around. Have fun with the children. Have fun with you. See friends. Small pleasures.” So, that is what they decide to do—normal plus. Not just enjoy marmalade, but have “posh” marmalade.

Of course, this book is raw and hard, but Kinsella also throws in some of her signature humor that helps break up the distressing severity of cancer. I recommend this generally sad book, but wisely choose your time to read it and relish Kinsella’s talents.

I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

Rating: 5/5

Category: Women’s Fiction

Notes: I can think of numerous reasons that I have not published very many book reviews recently, but I think one of them was, in the middle of family grief, I could not bring myself to read this intimate look at stage 4 cancer. That statement is not a spoiler as that is what this book is about, and the experts always say “you should write about what you know.” I was aware of the sadness that lay ahead in the reading. 

Publication:  October 8, 2024—Random House (Dial Press)

Memorable Lines:

Now she looks around her beloved children’s faces, wondering if they’re OK, hoping that they’re resilient, wondering as she does approximately every five minutes how much longer she has on this earth and feeling—yet again—an overpowering guilt.

The way to get through radiotherapy: pretend you are at a fancy spa….The way to get through chemotherapy side effects: do a five-hundred-meter sprint every day, eat only cabbage, meditate, and write a daily gratitude journal to your creator.   I’m joking. The way to get through chemotherapy side effects: go to bed.

“I just…I just need to know you’ll be there when I die. I need to hear your voice. Your voice relaxes me. Plus, you need to tell me what to do and where to go. You know me—I haven’t got any sense of direction. I’ll end up in the wrong place.” Nick roars with laughter, rubbing his eyes.